August 9th – Emotional Rollercoasters
When I first decided to accept the job over here in America, I was excited. Excited to begin a new life and start my career in the profession I had worked so hard to get in to. I never really fully considered the emotional upheaval of moving half way across the world, away from family and friends and everything you once knew. One of the first friends I met over here was Niamh, an Irish Occupational Therapist, recruited by the same company as myself. She warned me of the 3 month slump of home sickness and the importance of taking a trip away very three months or so. I must admit at the time my naivety and hard-headedness believed that I was stronger than that. After all, I’ve grown up priding myself on my independence and ability to overcome obstacles to get to where I want to be. Home-sickness…paah!
How wrong I could be! So much has happened since I arrived here let alone in the past couple weeks and at this time I truly don’t ever think Ive felt so alone. Today, whilst treating a patient who was quite agitated, I found myself humming and then singing ‘Caledonia‘ softly, initially thinking this was for the patients benefit, to help them relax. I later realised this was more as a comfort to me. Music and Sports have always been my emotional release. If I was stressed or upset, I’d spend hours at the piano at my Mum’s house, singing and playing often the same songs over and over and often late into the night. The same with exercise, if I was stressed or angry I could sweat it out on the treadmill or tarmac. After a bike crash last week that left me feeling very fortunate to be alive but also achey and sore, I haven’t been able to train as well as I’d have hoped. And with no piano or guitar, I’ve struggled to find that same release in music. Instead, Im left having to face the emotion alone, bare-faced and vulnerable.
I know that I’ll be fine, or at least I know I have to be. I wouldn’t wish things were different because I know this is all just a part of the journey.
I have taken a different view recently to how I cope with things. For any one that knows me, knows that I always have too much on my plate and constantly rush around like a stressed out crazy lady. Well, that’s not healthy. I am starting to realise that sleep and rest are just as important as the training. Instead of pushing through injuries, listen to your body and be kind to it. Love yourself….this one I find difficult and haven’t yet mastered but I’m working on it.
Good things are happening and I am looking forward to what the next few months will bring. This doesn’t stop the home-sickness or loneliness but it helps me to remember to man the hell up and know that family and friends will always be there, even if they live on the other side of the world!
I will hopefully be able to post some exciting update re: sponsorship and training this weekend, so until then Goodnight and enjoy the rest of your week.
The lessons you are learning will help you go far. xx